How to Support Someone who is Bereaved

The death of a loved one can be incredibly difficult. It can also be hard to know what to say or do to support someone who is grieving.

 

It’s s human thing to want to help when someone is in distress. Often, we cannot help or change someone’s grief. This is what can make it feel uncomfortable.

 

Grief is complex and has emotional, physical, behavioural, spiritual and philosophical dimensions. It's a normal human journey and represents our adaptation towards living life without our loved person. It can be an incredibly difficult, lonely and disorientating experience.

 

Here are a few tips on how you can help support someone who is grieving.

 

·       Be empathetic and understanding. Grief is a process and everyone experiences it differently.

 

·       Be patient and understanding with them as they navigate through this difficult time.

 

·       Acknowledge their loss and express your condolences. Let them know that you're there for them, that you care. A simple "I'm sorry for your loss" and “I’m here for you” can go a long way.

 

·       If someone doesn’t like to talk about their loss and answers “I’m fine”, it might just feel a bit too much to talk about it. In this case the small unspoken kindnesses like making then a cup of tea is a small unspoken way to show you care, without making them talk about their loss.

 

·       Offer practical support where appropriate such as helping with the shopping or other household things. The person grieving often has lots of additional practical tasks after a death, including planning a funeral. Alleviate the pressure if you can and if they are willing to accept help.

 

·       Don't avoid the topic of their loss; but respect their privacy and boundaries. It’s natural to try to help them feel better but let them lead the conversation around their loss. Simply listen to them and remember their grief isn’t a problem you need to solve- just being there while they grieve is enough.

 

·       Remember to check in. Grief doesn't have an expiration date. Check in regularly, even after the initial shock has passed. Grieving can last years and can actually become more intense as time goes on in the first year. Just knowing that someone is thinking of them can mean a lot during this difficult time.