Your absence has gone through me

Like thread through a needle.

Everything I do is stitched with its colour.

W.S Merwin

Following the death of your loved one with whom your life was entwined, there follows a period of suffering. Grief is complex and has emotional, physical, behavioural, spiritual and philosophical dimensions. It's part of life's journey and represents our adaptation towards living life without our loved person. It can be an incredibly difficult, lonely and disorientating experience.

As a first step, read through our useful grief resources to learn all about normal grief as well as the things you can do to help yourself through this time.

Grief: What is normal?

Many people find they manage their grief best by leaning on their support network of family and friends and engaging in the activities they know make them feel more peaceful such as walking or gardening. There's no right or wrong way to express yourself or your grief and your distress is not something that needs to be fixed or taken away, but as time passes it will feel more manageable.

Bereavement Support volunteer listening to someone on their mobile phone

Beverly and Mary support local people who are grieving and both understand the complexities of grief. Both retired professionals, they support people by listening. Mary’s background is in mental health nursing and Beverly was an Occupational Health Advisor.

It can hit you in so many ways; emotionally, physically, behaviourally and spiritually. 

Mary, “My family have had support from Strathcarron in the past and I know how important good end of life care is to patients and their families. I'm enjoying being able to continue to use my skills to help others and feel part of a team again. I've met some great people. I think the people I’ve talked to feel the benefit of being able to talk freely to someone out with their family. Often they worry that they are burdening or upsetting their family, when they too are grieving.

Beverly, “Following retirement, I felt I had skills that could still be utilised that I could offer on a voluntary basis. I feel that I’m able to connect with people, and that by conversing with them, I’m supporting them to move through the normal stages of grief. I also gain a sense of a return of my previous professional self which I find enjoyable”.

If your loved one received support from any of Strathcarron teams during their illness and you now feel you need some extra support on your grief journey, why not start by having a conversation with our Bereavement Support Team.

There are a range of different types of support and you can explore what might suit you best. A listening ear may be just what you need. Please just call 01324 826222 and leave a message for Bereavement Support with your name, loved one's name and contact number.